On a muggy, rain-slick, mosquito-infested Monday morning, famed B-movie director Jim Wynorski cursed the skies as he stood at the mouth of a cave in the swamps of Caverns State Park.<\/p>\n
\u201c(Bleep, bleep) planes, I hate them,\u201d Wynorski said as what sounded like a crop duster droned by overhead, completely ruining a take on the set of his latest movie, \u201cCobragator.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s OK, we\u2019re going to go in the cave in a little bit and they can land a B-57 in here if they want,\u201d Wynorski said. \u201cWe won\u2019t be able to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before he was so rudely interrupted by the buzzing aircraft, Wynorski was filming the opening scene of \u201cCobragator,\u201d which is a monster movie being made for the SyFy Channel. It stars Michael Madsen, the dude who sliced off the cop\u2019s ear in \u201cReservoir Dogs\u201d (1992), as \u2014 and this is Wynorski\u2019s synopsis \u2014 \u201ca Southern redneck who is still mad at the North so he stole some genomes from a lab and he created a Cobragator to get his revenge.\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh, that old saw.<\/p>\n
The start of \u201cCobragator\u201d features a father (Jack Teague) who drags his reluctant son (Joshua Shiek) and scantily clad daughter (Allison Cain) to a \u201cwell-lit tourist trap\u201d of a cave. Dad wants to play an ancient flute that is made from a vulture bone inside \u201cthe world\u2019s first underground cathedral.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wynorski, a native New Yorker in his mid-60s who is playfully brusque, made the three actors do the scene over and over. It is amazing how many times you can say the words \u201cvulture bone\u201d without getting tired of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s got to be great, it\u2019s the opening of the movie,\u201d Wynorski said to his actors. \u201cBe better. … Don\u2019t act … Hate it, say it again. … I just want it to be good. … This is your close-up, make the most of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Some of Wynorski\u2019s other acting directions included: \u201cWell, that was a down payment on fair.\u201d And, this gem: \u201cShake your head (yes or no) so I can hear the screws.\u201d<\/p>\n
After directing nearly 100 low-budget movies, Wynorski knows how to work fast. His resume includes such cult classics as the immortal \u201cChopping Mall\u201d (1986), the remake of \u201cNot of This Earth\u201d (1988) and the \u201cGremlins\u201d-inspired comedy \u201cMunchie\u201d (1992). Using assumed names, he also directed many made-for-cable, soft-core nudie flicks with titles such as \u201cThe Devil Wears Nada\u201d (2009) and \u201cThe Hills Have Thighs\u201d (2010).<\/p>\n
Yes, those are real titles.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have shot films in two days, I\u2019ve shot 14 pages (of script) in one day,\u201d Wynorski said while another plane passed overhead. \u201cThis is a 15-day shoot. Plenty of time.\u201d<\/p>\n
In January, Wynorski and actress Traci Lords, who also starred in his reboot of \u201cNot of This Earth,\u201d spent 13 days in the Caverns State Park shooting the \u201cSharkansas Women\u2019s Prison Massacre.\u201d Wynorski, who said he came up with the \u201cSharkansas\u201d title while he was in the shower one morning, liked the Caverns so much that he came back to shoot his next monster masterpiece.<\/p>\n
After more than hour of cajoling, hectoring and praising his \u201cCobragator\u201d actors, Wynorski was happy with the shot. He told his film crew of four to break camp and move the equipment to the next location.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s cave time,\u201d Wynorski said and grinned.<\/p>\n
Meet Roger Corman<\/p>\n
Even though Wynorski started out working in the publishing business for Doubleday in New York, he first stepped behind the camera while making TV commercials that were shown during Mets baseball games. The ads were \u201cloud and obnoxious\u201d in their approach to pitch appliances.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t tell anyone I shot them because people hated them so much,\u201d Wynorski said.<\/p>\n
In the \u201870s, Wynorski said he \u201cwent to L.A. to strike it rich and I struck it poor. … There\u2019s no ads for directors in the L.A. Times.\u201d<\/p>\n
In 1979, he finally landed a full-time job working on the TV series \u201cBreaking Away,\u201d which was based on the hit movie of the same name. It starred Shaun Cassidy and was shot on location in Athens, Ga.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a dud,\u201d Wynorski said. \u201cThey fired everyone they could fire and I was the first. …. They did buy me a first-class ticket back to L.A., though.\u201d<\/p>\n
By coincidence, during the plane flight, Wynorski met movie producer Marcy Gross, who listened to the struggling filmmaker\u2019s tale of woe. Gross set up a meeting between Wynorski and legendary film producer and director Roger Corman, who was looking for an advertising manager. Corman, who helped start the careers of such directors as Jonathan Demme and Martin Scorsese, hired Wynorski on the spot, thanks to his Doubleday experience.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would have taken a janitorial job just to get his ear,\u201d Wynorski said.<\/p>\n
After working his way up, eventually Wynorski was directing such Corman projects as \u201cThe Wasp Woman\u201d (1995), \u201cRaptor\u201d (2001) and \u201cPiranhaconda\u201d (2012). Corman, whose company played a part in making \u201cCobragator,\u201d even visited the set at the Caverns State Park earlier this month.<\/p>\n
\u201cI like working for Roger Corman,\u201d \u201cCobragator\u201d producer Steven Goldenberg said. \u201cYou\u2019re doing something right when you\u2019re working for Roger Corman. He is the best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Goldenberg, who graduated from Florida State University in 2001 with a degree in art education, got into the movie business in much the same way as Wynorski.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wrote Jim a fan letter and he replied,\u201d Goldenberg said as he helped carry equipment into the largest cave in Caverns State Park. \u201cEight years later, here I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
Going underground<\/p>\n
While Wynorski was waiting for his crew to light the next shot in stalactite-draped South America Room of the Florida Caverns, he talked about his love of classic sci-fi films such as \u201cForbidden Planet\u201d (1956) and \u201cAttack of the Crab Monsters\u201d (1957).<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople like to watch fun monster movies,\u201d Wynorski said. \u201cThere are no drive-ins anymore, so that\u2019s why these monster mash-up movies are so popular. CGI has really leveled the playing field. … I think I have been successful because of the humor I put in my films.\u201d<\/p>\n
Every 20 minutes or so, a tour group of kids and parents passed through the South America Room, which got its name thanks to a pool of water shaped like the continent. Wynorski greeted them by saying, \u201cBe sure to watch \u2018Cobragator\u2019 on the SyFy Channel.\u201d<\/p>\n
The underground scene involved the father playing his vulture bone flute while his perturbed kids tried to get signals on their cellphones. Little does the dopey dad realize that the sound of his flute is luring the dreaded Cobragator out of its subterranean lair, like a snake-charmer. Thanks to the miracle of CGI-generated special effects, the hideous mutant beast decides to have a little vulture-bone flute snack by devouring dear ol\u2019 poppa.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, now it looks like a movie,\u201d Wynorski said as he looked through the lens. \u201cLet\u2019s kill some people.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wynorski is a man who clearly loves his work.