{"id":2904,"date":"2012-05-18T13:30:29","date_gmt":"2012-05-18T19:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bmovienation.com\/?p=2904"},"modified":"2012-05-18T13:30:29","modified_gmt":"2012-05-18T19:30:29","slug":"battleship-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bmovienation.com\/?p=2904","title":{"rendered":"Battleship"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It\u2019s funny \u2014 somehow, in all the time we\u2019ve been getting our classic-games fix playing Battleship, we missed the part where you\u2019ll call out, say, B-5, and suddenly find a giant, techno-morphing alien spacecraft on the grid. But hey, if you\u2019re Hasbro and Universal, and you\u2019ve agreed to make a movie based on nothing more than brand recognition of a game, you\u2019ve got to fill two hours with something.<\/p>\n

So why not go the \u201cTransformers\u201d route? After all, Hasbro\u2019s corporate dreams of duplicating its success with that unabashedly toyetic franchise are precisely what led to \u201cBattleship\u201d \u2014 along with a widely mocked Universal slate, reportedly now scrapped, that was to have included \u201cMonopoly,\u201d \u201cOuija,\u201d and \u201cCandy Land.\u201d (Didn\u2019t Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg cover that last one already?)<\/p>\n

Directed by Peter Berg, \u201cBattleship\u201d stars Taylor Kitsch (\u201cJohn Carter,\u201d poor guy) as Hopper, a hunky ne\u2019er-do-well hanging loose in Hawaii with his naval officer older brother (Alexander Skarsgard, \u201cTrue Blood\u201d). A brisk, promising opener alternates Hopper\u2019s comically bungled flirtation with Sam (swimsuit model-turned-tank-top actress Brooklyn Decker) and tech-y glimpses at an initiative to establish deep space contact with a newly discovered planet. \u201cIf they come here, it\u2019s gonna be like Columbus and the Indians,\u201d grumbles one science wonk. \u201cOnly we\u2019re the Indians.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sure enough, Hopper lands in trouble \u2014 Sam, while charmed, is the daughter of an admiral (an uninvested Liam Neeson) \u2014 and gets an ultimatum from his brother to sign up for duty. The aliens promptly show, in an armada that lands off Oahu just in time to mix it up with the USS John Paul Jones and other real fleet vessels.<\/p>\n

Cut to some mildly interesting shot-across-the-bow stuff mashing up sci-fi first contact iconography and old Navy movies. It\u2019s soon established that the new arrivals are bent on seizing communications and telling more invaders to come on down. (Their own communications rig broke away in the atmosphere and catastrophically smashed downtown Hong Kong.) Then the fireworks start.<\/p>\n

If only there were more genuine rah-rah fun involved, instead of just endless, thudding, seen-it-all-before mayhem. The filmmakers avoid the occasional visual incoherence of \u201cTransformers,\u201d but deliver only a couple of bits of kid-pleasing spectacle and nominal stabs at referencing the board game. On the acting side, such as it is, you watch pop star Rihanna, glowering nonstop in her feature debut as one of Hopper\u2019s crewmates, and you wonder: Is she having a good time?<\/p>\n

Despite this project\u2019s seemingly cynical genesis, Berg\u2019s unlikely involvement raised expectations. The onetime \u201cChicago Hope\u201d doc has done some assured work since shifting his focus to directing, including the feature version of \u201cFriday Night Lights\u201d and the kinetic, feds-in-Saudi Arabia procedural, \u201cThe Kingdom.\u201d But here the storytelling is relentlessly generic, save for some clever light touches with Kitsch at the start, and some screwy opportunities for real-life US military vets to get in the action at the finish.<\/p>\n

One of these final flourishes is spoiler material, but the other involves Decker\u2019s intercut mission back on land: helping a disabled, embittered soldier (double amputee Gregory D. Gadson) to take heart, and take on \u201cHalo\u201d-suited alien ground forces. Gadson\u2019s acting is hardly polished but he leaves an impression, which is more than the movie generally manages.