There are some movies, be it through their natural storyline or boffo box office, that deserve a sequel. Then there are films that seem to have told a complete story, or not done enough business to make a continuation worthwhile. But in the weird world of Hollywood, you never know what makes a sequel make sense.<\/p>\n
I think we all know that Robert Rodriguez is a talented filmmaker, but somewhere along the way, he lost his path, preferring quantity (and speed) over quality. Look, Robert, you\u2019re a brand name now \u2013 you don\u2019t have to make all your movies appear cheap and haphazard.<\/p>\n
The first \u201cMachete\u201d was a shaggy piece of work that make decent work of Danny Trejo\u2019s rough-hewn charm and some clever stunt casting. In addition, it actually had a semi-realistic plot and some salient points to make on the Mexican immigration debate. MACHETE KILLS (R, 1 star), on the other hand, simply exists as a wink-wink joke and a way to parade famous faces across the screen in incongruous roles.<\/p>\n
I spent most of the film stifling yawns through Rodriguez\u2019s \u201cexaggerated\u201d scenarios and half-baked special effects. I\u2019m still happy Danny Trejo has a franchise, but at this point, I\u2019m hoping the implosion at the box office closes this curious chapter in his unique CV.<\/p>\n
Machete, who seems to have been promoted into full-on superhero since the last film, is pardoned by the President (Charlie Sheen) in the hopes of stopping madman Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) from launching a missile at Washington, D.C. Machete meets his new handler, \u201cMiss San Antonio\u201d (Amber Heard), who informs him that he must travel to Mexico to find the young woman (Vanessa Hudgens) who will lead him to Mendez.<\/p>\n
There, we also meet Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), a brothel owner with a mean anti-man streak and an arsenal of weapons. Machete soon discovers that Mendez has a split personality, the real bad guy is ruthless businessman Luther Voz (Mel Gibson) AND there\u2019s some sort of faceless killer going around (wearing the masks of Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga among others) taking out witnesses. Got all that? Don\u2019t worry \u2013 it doesn\u2019t really matter.<\/p>\n
The B-movie, grindhouse fun of the first film is completely lost here; everyone appears to be going through the motions, including Gibson, who \u201cacts crazy,\u201d because, hey, that\u2019s what we expect of him. The only person who comes out unscathed is Trejo, because, really, he\u2019s just playing himself.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
You\u2019d think with all the money Vin Diesel made for Universal with the \u201cFast & Furious\u201d series that they\u2019d throw him a bone for his passion project.<\/p>\n
But after the ambitious disaster that was \u201cThe Chronicles of Riddick,\u201d it took quite a while for Diesel to get RIDDICK (R, 2 1\/2 stars) off the ground. And while this film harbors ambitions of returning to the gritty roots of \u201cPitch Black,\u201d it doesn\u2019t quite work. Attempting to mix the mythology of the second film with the creature feature of the first leads to a muddled experience that even Diesel can\u2019t save with his \u201cBatman\u201d growl.<\/p>\n
The first 30 minutes of the film are a curious reintroduction to a character who hasn\u2019t been on screen in years \u2014 part flashback and a near-wordless section of Riddick stranded on a desert planet, trying to figure out a way to fight off alien creatures. It\u2019s not that this section is bad, just \u2026 strange. This isn\u2019t the way action flicks normally start.<\/p>\n
Things pick up a bit once we are introduced to two groups of bounty hunters both on the trail of Riddick, who has triggered a beacon alerting his presence on the planet. One is led by the unhinged Santana (Jordi Molla), the other by the secretive Johns (Matt Nable). Both want Riddick\u2019s bounty, but Johns has another reason for going after the world\u2019s most dangerous man, which ties WAY back to the first film \u2013 a plot point that really stretched my memory, much less the casual viewer.<\/p>\n
Riddick disappears for large stretches of the film, leaving the bounty hunters as the primary story drivers, although only Katee Sackoff\u2019s tough-as-nails character really makes an impact. Diesel returns for the home stretch, when everyone has to join forces to defeat the space worms that have been unearthed from the dry planet thanks to a rain storm.<\/p>\n
I really wanted to like this movie, but in the end, it\u2019s just another curious chapter in the Riddick saga \u2013 one that I expect to live on in video game or comic form for years to come. And when Riddick and director David Twohy get their inevitable shot at another sequel, I hope it\u2019s a little tighter and sharper than this one.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
It\u2019s rare that direct-to-video films get sequels, but when you\u2019re talking about actor Scott Adkins and director Issac Florentine \u2014 the DiCaprio and Scorsese of B-flicks \u2014 it\u2019s easy to understand why everyone was excited about NINJA II: SHADOW OF A TEAR (R, 3 stars).<\/p>\n
If there was justice in Hollywood, the Adkins-Florentine combo would be toplining big-budget action flicks instead of toiling away for the praise of bloggers everywhere. But this way, they get to do what they want, which in this film, means unspooling a story of vengeance with badass fights.<\/p>\n
No, you don\u2019t need to have seen the first film to know what\u2019s going on. Casey (Adkins) is our hero, a martial arts expert trained in Japan by the dojo that adopted him. Here, he\u2019s settled down into a life of domestic bliss with his pregnant wife. But after she is killed by thugs, Casey goes on a brutal mission of revenge, traveling to Thailand on the advice of his friend Nakabara (Kane Kosugi). There, Casey discovers that a brutal drug lord named Goro may have a connection, and traverses deep into the jungle to stop him.<\/p>\n
What makes this film stand out from the sea of ineffective action flicks both big and small is the way that Florentine shoots the money scenes. You get a sense of what the combatants are doing, the weight and fury of the punches and kicks, and the clarity of place. I can\u2019t tell you how many times I\u2019ve watched fights and had no idea what\u2019s going on due to hyper-kinetic editing, wacky camera angles and unnecessary special effects.<\/p>\n
Adkins has grown by leaps and bounds as an actor as well. Four years ago, he was incredibly stiff, but he does so much better at selling the film\u2019s emotional beats. His martial arts skills are unparalleled, and some of the big boys are starting to notice, given his appearance in films like \u201cZero Dark Thirty\u201d and \u201cThe Expendables 2\u2033.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re an action buff, this is a must-watch. For everyone else, give it a shot \u2013 this is WAY better than your typical low-budget flick.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cInsidious\u201d was a surprisingly effective haunted house thriller \u2026 until the finale, when it introduced some supernatural world called \u201cThe Further\u201d that was populated by weird looking demons and ghosts. INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 (PG-13, 1 star) makes the awful mistake of setting most of the film in that world, which makes for an utterly ridiculous and fright-free film.<\/p>\n
To some extent, I applaud director James Wan for continuing the story of the Lambert family without having to make some over-the-top explanation about why this stuff continues to happen to these poor people, but I just could not get into the story without thinking about how silly the whole enterprise was.<\/p>\n
After the events of the last film, Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) remains under suspicion for the death of medium Elise (Lin Shaye), but more importantly, his wife Renai (Rose Byrne) continues to hear strange noises throughout their house. Pretty soon, it becomes clear that Josh is being possessed by Parker Crane, who was behind the mysterious murders of several people years ago.<\/p>\n
Eventually Josh\u2019s son Dalton must return to The Further and rescue his father, which means plenty of creepy looking ghosts, aggressive sound cues and lots of mystical mumbo-jumbo. Look, I know this kind of stuff gets people to jump in their seats, but this kind of scare tactic doesn\u2019t work for me. (It most certainly works for others, as this film made a staggering $160 worldwide on just a $5 million budget.)<\/p>\n
Wan is a good director, and I\u2019m excited to see him leave the ghosts behind in favor of cars in the upcoming \u201cFast & Furious 7.\u201d Let\u2019s hope there\u2019s no supernatural freeway in that one.