![\"'Plastic'](\"http:\/\/i1.wp.com\/pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com\/2014\/09\/plastic.jpg?crop=0px%2C5px%2C2560px%2C1425px&resize=670%2C377\")
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A One Direction-starring remake of \u201cOcean\u2019s Eleven\u201d would probably carry more swagger than \u201cPlastic<\/a>,\u201d a dismal My First Heist thriller that is all-too-aptly nailed by its own title. Aimed squarely at adolescent boys, yet far too laborious in execution to engage them, B-movie journeyman Julian Gilbey<\/a>\u2019s fifth feature stars a baby-faced quartet of young British actors \u2014 including recent BAFTA winner Will Poulter<\/a> \u2014 as naive credit-card fraudsters thrown out of their depth when they cross a murderous German gangster. The kids are so smarmily dim-witted, however, that viewers may well find themselves rooting for the heavies. This synthetic, misogynistic throwaway already had its card declined by Blighty auds in April; that it\u2019s surfacing Stateside at all is something of a surprise, but it\u2019s likeliest to find favor in ancillary.<\/p>\n Gilbey writes and edits his films in collaboration with his brother William, and the duo showed some auspicious genre-film smarts with their nifty 2011 feature, \u201cA Lonely Place to Die.\u201d A mountaineering white-knuckler that made resourceful use of a tight budget, it augured bigger-ticket assignments than \u201cPlastic\u201d \u2014 the would-be sleek surfaces of which have a disappointingly televisual sheen to them, despite the evident expense of location shooting in London and Miami. Neither d.p. Peter Wignall\u2019s flat, even lighting nor the Gilbeys\u2019 oddly slack cutting contribute the flash and sizzle required to make this kind of ludicrous escapade fly.<\/p>\n The opening credits, it should be noted, claim that this particular ludicrous escapade is based on true events: One presumes details have been substantially changed, since much of the story hinges on the young punks\u2019 victims making even more blindingly obvious errors in judgment than they do. \u201cDownton Abbey\u201d alum Ed Speleers