Canadians can sleep safely tonight knowing that a zombie invasion of Canada will not be tolerated by the ruling Conservative Party of Stephen Harper.<\/p>\n
In a case of life imitating art, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird is assuring the House of Commons that Canada remains a zombie-free zone.<\/p>\n
The odd exchange came Wednesday near the end of the daily question period in the House of Commons.<\/p>\n
Winnipeg New Democrat Pat Martin raised the matter of a Quebec government disaster planning exercise that used a mock zombie invasion as its premise. B-movie templates of an invasion of the \u201cliving dead\u201d have also been used for emergency preparedness drills in the United States.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don\u2019t recognize borders,\u201d Martin warned the House, tongue planted firmly in cheek.<\/p>\n
Is the foreign minister, asked the NDP MP, working with his American partners \u201cto develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?\u201d<\/p>\n
Baird rose to the occasion with an equally glib response, telling the House that he was \u201cdead-icated\u201d to the matter.<\/p>\n
\u201cUnder the leadership of this prime minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever,\u201d said Baird.<\/p>\n
But he couldn\u2019t resist resurrecting an undead Conservative talking point that has lurched through the parliamentary corridors for months: the NDP\u2019s fictional carbon tax, which a smiling Baird said would raise the cost of zombie-related emergency provisions \u2013 including monster trucks \u2013 for all Canadians.<\/p>\n
Beacon readers weighed in on the weighty issue of a zombie invasion of Canada.<\/p>\n
\u201cA zombie attack? Is that when Justin Trudeau becomes the Liberal leader?\u201d asks Tim Hoven, a farmer from Eckville, Alta.<\/p>\n
A more typical response comes from Calgarian Kevin Olenick: \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
British Columbian Garth Spencer says that all zombies are political metaphors, which makes them highly appropriate as debate topics in the House.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe blame the Belgians,\u201d Spencer said mysteriously.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think the zombie apocalypse is already upon us. I base this on my observation of how many clearly brainless people shuffled to the polls to vote for Allison Redford,\u201d said Calgarian Rob Vanden Heuvel.