Two things we know about werewolves: they\u2019re just like ordinary people until they change with the phase of the moon; and if they wound you and you survive, you eventually change into one.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove Bite\u201d (released in 2012, but only shown in the country this year) adds another dimension to the ecology of the lycanthrope: they prefer virgins. This is just bad news for Jamie (\u201cDownton Abbey\u2019s\u201d Ed Speleers), and his friends, Spike (Daniel Kendrick), Bruno (Rob Morrisey), and Kevin (Luke Pasqualino), though they don\u2019t know it yet. The first three are virgins in the dead-end, seaside town of Rainmouth, where the making of pies is the community\u2019s biggest thing, and now that school\u2019s over, they and other young bucks are just raring to get laid\u2014and get routinely busted by the town fuzz in the process. <\/p>\n
The official poster. All photos courtesy of 20th Century Fox.
\nJamie\u2019s like not them, though. While he\u2019s content to help his mother run one of the medium-sized bead and breakfast boutique hotels in town, while dodging the attempts of the local cougars and MILFs to get into his pants, he\u2019s pretty much bored out of his wits. Fortunately, an exotic woman enters his life. <\/p>\n
Said exotic flower and the werewolf in question comes in the form of striking beauty and American blogger Juliana (played by \u201cGossip Girl\u2019s\u201d Jessica Szohr), who blows into town just as a slew of disappearances involving young men start to happen.<\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t help that terribly mysterious, and horridly bumbling werewolf expert, Sid (Timothy Spall) dubs the sexy and smart Juliana as a true lycanthrope and bids Jamie to stay away from \u201cthe beast!\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s Jamie\u2019s good fortune though that Juliana (after meeting her at a party) ends up staying at their hotel. They hit it off very well, though she does tend to disappear a lot, Jamie thinks that American apple pie a la tourist might just be the ticket to finally get his banana peeled.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s unlucky coincidence that one of the local teens goes missing at the same party where Jamie met Juliana. Is she responsible for the deaths of the young men in Rainmouth and has she targeted Jamie next for her English countryside feeding spree? The mystery thickens as the body count piles up. <\/p>\n
Jessica Szohr plays American blogger Juliana, suspected of being the lycanthrope.
\nAdd a generous tone of comedy to this naughty UK horror movie and what you\u2019ve got are well-sketched characters and great plot potential that, unfortunately, just drags in the execution. There\u2019s a lot of side stories here that never get developed and left unresolved like stray threads.<\/p>\n
For all its faults though, \u201cLove Bite\u201d is as entertaining as its mix of supernatural and sex promises.<\/p>\n
Credit the young actors for this. There\u2019s genuine chemistry between Szohr and Speleers, and the latter plays very aptly against his \u201cDownton Abbey\u201d playboy-type here and pulls off a genuine straight man act. There are times here where his put upon \u201cwtf is happening?!\u201d face carries the day with the comedy. Szohr also provides more than ample eye candy for the guys (don\u2019t blink or you\u2019ll miss the \u201chidden mickey\u201d). But the best laughs that fall into that dry, British brand of humor comes from Jamie\u2019s barkada (or, more aptly, mates) who fall flat on their faces, again and again, trying to be suave with the town\u2019s girls.<\/p>\n
Watch out for the old school Dance Dance Revolution scenario where Kevin and Bruno try to keep up with some sexy teen and how it plays out in a later scene. It\u2019s deadpan in its presentation but definitely one of the funniest in this movie\u2019s bouquet. <\/p>\n
Luke Pasqualino plays Kevin and Ed Speelers plays Jamie, the virgins of Rainmouth town.
\nAside from the aversion to silver and the preference for tender meat, there\u2019s very few ACTUAL werewolf sightings here, and when we do see the beast the darn CGI makes it look like this one might just fall into the B-movie bin. Trust me, this isn\u2019t an SFX extravaganza. <\/p>\n
As werewolf hunter Sid continues to track and hunt the Rainmouth beast, he also urges Jamie to get laid ASAP. Young men keep on dying and it seems the only way to be 100% safe is to pop your cherry. The boys very soon get the fear that the werewolf is truly after them and they scramble to get laid.<\/p>\n
You\u2019d think that with 87 minutes of the virgins and werewolves premise, this movie would be filled with much supernatural and sexual pyrotechnics. But a lot of scenes really just move like molasses and, as much as the young cast pick out their tongue-in-cheek moments with panache, there\u2019s only so much witnessing virginal frustration you can do before you snooze.<\/p>\n
That said, if you\u2019re a fan of Szohr and\/or Speleers (and their honed cut and curves) then you could do worse than score a popcorn and soda and spend the time laughing your head off.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove Bite\u201d is currently screening in Metro Manila theaters.