When two similarly-themed movies come out in quick succession, it\u2019s usually better to be the first one out of the gate. In 2013, \u201cWhite House Down\u201d had better marketing, a bigger budget and the Channing Tatum factor, but it couldn\u2019t escape the shadow of the other terrorists-kidnap-the-president movie, \u201cOlympus Has Fallen,\u201d which came out a few months earlier and brought in more money domestically.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s good news for Brett Ratner, the director behind \u201cHercules,\u201d which comes out in July. It\u2019s hard to imagine that the summer blockbuster could be worse than \u201cThe Legend of Hercules,\u201d which should fade quickly into obscurity as so many January releases do.
\nThe Legend of Hercules
\nCritic rating:
\nPoor
\nOpened: 01\/10\/2014
\nStarring: Kellan Lutz, Scott Adkins, Liam McIntyre,, Liam Garrigan, Johnathon Schaech, Roxanne McKee, Gaia Weiss, Rade Serbedzija
\nRated: PG-13
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Dwayne Johnson, who takes the title role in Ratner\u2019s rendition, has more charisma in one raised eyebrow than Kellan Lutz can muster during an entire pre-battle speech in \u201cThe Legend of Hercules.\u201d Lutz has the muscles to play the powerful demigod offspring of Zeus and the mortal queen Alcmene, but he could have skipped a few grueling weight-lifting routines to take some acting lessons. In his defense, the script does him no favors.<\/p>\n
The movie tells the creation story of Hercules, as his mother falls out of love with her husband, King Amphitryon (a spectacularly overacting Scott Adkins), and his warring ways and prays to Hera for peace. The goddess comes up with a plan which involves letting her husband, the almighty Zeus, sleep with Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) and father a child, who shall bring peace to the land. This scheme leads to one of the most unintentionally funny sex scenes in memory, as Alcmene is visited in her bed one night by the invisible god, who expresses pleasure by mooing like a cow.<\/p>\n
But the meat of the story is this: Hercules falls in love with a princess, who is betrothed to his evil brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), and the equally vile King Amphitryon sends his supposed offspring to co-opt distant lands where certain death awaits him. Of course, he doesn\u2019t die, and he and another Greek, Sotiris (Liam McIntyre), become best bros as they journey back to Argos to foil the nuptials that are to take place three moons hence.<\/p>\n
Recurring visions of the fake moon were just some of the moments that caused outbursts of incredulous laughter during a recent screening. Another such instance came when Hercules kills the Nemean lion, a computer-generated monster that looks like an animatronic stuffed animal.<\/p>\n
Aside from bad dialogue and worse special effects, one of the most frustrating features of \u201cLegend\u201d is its shortage of lingering shots. Quick cutting is an epidemic in modern movies, but in this case, when scenes end \u2014 usually with some one-liner \u2014 there\u2019s no time to process the words before we\u2019re thrust into some new action. The movie is the cinematic equivalent of a run-on sentence that never pauses for a breather. It doesn\u2019t appear that a lot of time or effort was put into the script, but with this kind of cutting, director Renny Harlin (who also is one of the writers) makes clear what little value he places on words.<\/p>\n
Some of the fight scenes are genuinely exciting and McIntyre, who clearly has acting ability well beyond this type of work, manages to keep a straight face. But the only thing epic about \u201cThe Legend of Hercules\u201d is what a failure it is.<\/p>\n
-office success; now he\u2019s been reduced to imitating other filmmakers.