Connoisseurs of bad movies will have a field day with this one, “Wild Women of Wongo” is a veritable treat for lovers of turkey films. I know that when I first heard of the title I couldn’t rest till it was part of my library. Fortunately, a company known as Mill Creek Entertainment packages various genres into collections of fifty movies on DVD, so for about fifty cents per, you can take advantage of some of the worst films ever made. This one is part of the Sci-Fi Collection.

I’m always a bit leery when the opening credits signal the use of Pathecolor, for some reason a particular range of the color spectrum will dominate. In this case, blues and greens take over, but since the action takes place on a tropical island, it generally works OK. Even the scarlet macaw looks good, complementing his role as the would be MSTK3 stand in for the length of the story. As for the King of Wongo, only his hairdresser will know for sure, but his hair sure looked bright blue to me.

The movie’s opening utilizes a voice over proclaiming to be that of Mother Nature, describing an “experiment” that didn’t work some ten thousand years ago. Beastly men and gorgeous babes were teamed up on one side of an island, while their opposite numbers lived at the other end. The men of Goona had no strength, while the men of Wongo are hampered by poor eyesight. When the women of Wongo save a messenger named Engor from death, their punishment is exile from Wongo until their island god tastes blood. Hey, how great is that, a free pass to Goona if only the women can figure that out.

Fortunately the young studs of Goona must earn their manhood by spending “the space of one moon” in the wilderness without weapons, something like the Boy Scouts and the Order of the Arrow. That’s when they fall prey to the Wongo women and their snare traps. Those boys really put up a fight didn’t they? The trek from Goona to Wongo, which takes five days, is handled in just about a minute of movie time, so I guess the trip went well.

With all the scantily clad women of Wongo dominating the action, don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking cat fight. Yes, that obligatory scene is presented when things get a little out of hand with Wana, she’s the free thinker who wants to break ranks with leader Ooma. For sheer wackiness though, you have to check out the dragon dance performed by the High Priestess and her court. It’s the scene where the girls earn their name.

For those of you who have been to Florida’s Coral Castle, you’ll easily recognize the coral rock formations that make up the architecture of Wongo. Not to digress, but the massive swinging stone door that’s seen a number of times actually weighs a few tons, and is so precisely engineered and balanced that it will open at the push of a fingertip – I’ve seen it done! It’s a fascinating place to visit. Other Florida attractions are credited as well, including Parrot Jungle, and Silver Springs.

Look, if you’ve got about an hour to kill, there’s worse things you can do than “Wild Women of Wongo”, and obviously some a lot better as well. But if you do watch it, you’ll probably come away thinking what the scarlet macaw did just before the closing credits – “Well, how ’bout that?”