Screwballs II (1985)

Four twenty-year olds who have been stuck in the twelfth grade for four years because of all the babes they continue to score with are sent by their fed-up principal to a “special school” in the summer to supposedly teach a lesson, but these leopards don’t change their spots.

LOOSE SCREWS is basically another in a long line of PORKY’S wannabes with more (less than subdued)sexual innuendo within the jokes, names of characters, and even the schools than you can shake a stick at. Lines of dialogue featured between characters contain—particularly between guys and girls (who seem to be just as naughty and sexually liberated as their horny male counterparts)—constant references to and proposals for sex.

The film is a tool of titillation and features non-stop boobage. It seems the casting director must’ve been very convincing in orchestrating a long line of willing girls with no inhibitions whatsoever, because so many wind up removing their shirts: seriously, the female form is an important character in movies like LOOSE SCREWS. Either you like movies like this or you find them reprehensible, because immoral behavior and open attitudes about shagging at any given moment are the main dish on the menu of LOOSE SCREWS.

The plot finds time for the four buddies (with sex ALWAYS on their minds) to compete to see who can bed the new French teacher, keeping a scoring system regarding who can score with the most chicks, with even a beach dance number for good measure. Here’s the names for the four main characters: Brad LOVEtt(Bryan Genesse, who dresses in drag so he can spend the night in the female dorm(!), including a bathtub scene with a girl he soon becomes involved with), Steve HARDman(Lance Van Der Kolk, the typical blond hunk who almost gets caught in bed with his new school’s principal’s wife!), HUgh G. RECTION( Alan Deveau), and Marvin EATMORE (Jason Warren, the heavy character whose appetite and large size were fodder for fat jokes especially in the 80s). When you have female characters named Tracey GRATEHEAD (great head) and MONA LOTT (moan a lot) or even Hilda Von Blow(the typical scary German woman who favors a Butch female Nazi), then you ought to know the kind of sleazy comedy you are in for.

There is positively nothing here anything less than gratuitous. There’s a visit from the four goofballs to a strip club featuring the usual wet T-shirt contest, not to mention, the “revenge on the principal” lifted right out of PORKY’S (also, the bar the four guys visit is called THE PIGPIN, sheesh) at the end when the gang get even with the disciplinarian who expels them (rightfully so) for their continual antics in his school. The principal, Mr. Arenault (Mike MacDonald), is one of those types who wears a scowl on his face and punishes the gang for their “errors in distaste” (such as writing on the chalkboard 1000 times about not bothering the French teacher, or cleaning the school floors with a tooth brush) so you know he will be victimized at the very end for such deeds. Deborah Lobban is the French teacher the boys try to get jiggy with—the “hot teacher” angle played to the hilt as only the 80s could do it.