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Sand Sharks (2011)

Anybody who watches something so obviously meant to be ridiculous and then complains because it is ridiculous is probably the same kind of moron who lies in the sun and then complains that it is hot. As such, I suggest you ignore the negative reviews on this page. They probably wrote them on the way home from seeing The Who in concert after leaving early and complaining that “it was just too loud in there”.

There are two types of terrible movie. The first is best represented by Terror Inside. Badly acted, poorly written and generally excruciating to watch. Almost universally such movies take themselves too seriously (ANY hint of seriousness is too serious).

The second type includes such knowingly comic gems as Flight Of The Living Dead. A ridiculous name which diligently ticks all the boxes, as does the film. We’re talking boxes such as a consciously silly script, a good cast of weird and/or attractive stereotypes and the collective tongue jammed so deep in cheek that it resembles a particularly greedy squirrel.

Whenever you are in doubt, the rule of thumb is that the more outlandish the name, the more likely it is to be brilliantly terrible.

But rules are made to be broken. Sand Sharks nearly passed me by, as it is quite a sensible and vague title. Then I saw the 2.7 rating and realised it might well be more preposterous and unashamed than the title suggested. Thank goodness I did.

This is a hilarious, over the top, over-acted and actually quite skilfully constructed comic b-movie-esque homage to Jaws, with a hint of Deep Blue Sea.