Malibu High is the story of struggling student Kim Bentley (Jill Lansing in her one and only screen performance) who will do anything, and I definitely mean anything, in order to graduate. We are introduced to our chain smoking heroine in a not too flattering topless state late for school once again. I am by no means to be considered a prude when it comes to nudity, however Jill Lansing’s not so flattering figure is made even worse with a tacky white as snow tan line. This wouldn’t be a big deal if it was just one scene. Instead her frequent nudity becomes cringe inducing as the movie drags on. And drags it does.
Since Kim is a nasty individual who berates her divorced mother it’s no surprise that she was dumped by her boyfriend Kevin. One of the more humorous things about this movie is the music that follows one of Kim’s many ill-tempered quips she chooses to end a scene with. It sounds vaguely similar to losing a character in Donkey Kong. Newly single, Kim decides to prove to Kevin she isn’t a loser by not only graduating high school but graduating with straight A’s. You might be shocked to learn that instead of actually opening a book and trying to learn something she decides on seducing her mostly male teachers with sex in exchange for better grades. Sort of a quid pro ho. Zing! One point for me! What makes things worse is the fact that some teachers appear to hate her even more after their tryst by the ocean. At least she didn’t flunk economics as she decides to earn some money hooking for local drug-dealing thug Tony instead of just putting out in lieu of grades. Kim seems to have found her lot in life as scenes of her entertaining various johns inside Tony’s minibus with one particular belly laugh inducing shot of a chain of men waiting outside for their date with this surfer trash succubus.
Success comes easy (no pun intended) for Kim and soon she catches the eye of Lance who appears to be a scout for hooker stars of the future. She leaves behind Tony and his minibus for the higher-end clientele of overweight mustachioed psychopaths in dirty hotels. Way to move up Kim! One of these encounters leads to Kim accidentally killing her customer. This gives Lance the opportunity to promote her to contract killer. So, instead of killing off half the Malibu population with various STD’s she opts for just shooting them sparing us from seeing her pale breasts again. Thanks Lance! Her last target happens to be the father of Kevin’s new girlfriend. The hit is performed at the same time Kevin’s entourage arrives allowing them to witness Kim exiting the house. Kim shoots Kevin’s girlfriend in the stomach and flees the scene with Kevin in hot pursuit accompanied by the theme from The People’s Court. She is finally gunned down by the police ending her reign of tan lined terror.
Bad acting, awful outfits, and pure late seventies cheese that many exploitation movies of this time depicted actually helps when viewing this. Anyone who watches this isn’t expecting deep story lines and fully developed characters. It does have serious flaws as Jill Lansing is anything but lead material and the plot drags slower than a battleship on dry land. Still, a fun one time only movie just for the goofy soundtrack and the school dance disco scene. You may need a shower when it’s done.
