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Los vampiros de Coyoacán (1974)

Hooo Boy! I’m as big a fan of lucha flix as the next gringo, but, yikes! This one really tests your patience! At first glance, this one seems to have it all: great wrestling costumes, vampires, cool convertible muscle cars, gorgeous babes, befuddled police, etc. However, as it unfolds, you start to notice…where’s the action? Between watching Mil Mascaras and his partner Superzan just stand around trying to figure out the vampire murders, and watching the titular heroine run around acting scared, I was REALLY hard put not to fast forward this thing. Even the ring action is just barely perfunctory(I refuse to believe that Mascaras couldn’t be given something more to do). The dead givaway is when the token, non-wrestling male love interest (a doctor, presumably, dressed in the latest fashion straight from Miller’s Outpost)is actually given more action scenes than the wrestlers! Unforgivable! The ONLY reason to watch this snoozer is the scene in the vampire’s manor, where Mascaras and Superzan wrestle a mob of–I kid you not–vampire dwarves! WOW! These little guys can really rassle! Just the memory of our heroes bouncing these freaky little knee-biters off the red velvet-lined walls, like so many bloodsucking nerf-balls makes me crack up even as I type this. Otherwise, I haven’t been so bored with a lucha flick since “Santo and The Tigress”. Take my advice give this one a qualified pass. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go watch my tape of Santo in “Invasion of The Martians” for the forty-third time…