Fraternity Vacation (1985)

n attempt to capitalize on the zany 70’s and 80’s late night comedy craze, James Frowley assembled an ensemble cast of characters in order to enlighten the imagination of every teenage boy in the US. Tim Robbins plays Larry “Mother” Tucker, a frat brother who has taken fledgling nerd Wendell under his wing with the mission of getting him laid per the request of Willie Tanner. I guess it makes sense why Alf was always chasing after that pussy. The movie falls flat on its face many times even though the cast play their all to familiar roles all too well. It is as though Dean Wormer found a new job as police chief after leaving the hallowed halls of Faber College.

The premise is simple and rehashed a million times over. Boys go on spring break. Herpes jokes occur. Boys meet the love interest (Sherre J. Wilson). Boys bet on who can bang her first. Nerdy guy goes on dates. No one humps the hot chick until Evil Ed woos here with his sweetness the end. The cast moons the camera. (How come no one moons any more?)

This movie contains two of the more flat-chested women in the history of cinema. Wilson and Amanda Bearse could group all four of their hooters together and still would not have enough sweater meat to fill a ketchup packet. What was the deal with women who had 13 year old boy bodies being cast as the lead in the 80’s, Kelly McGillis (wink, wink). There is essentially no one here who takes my breath away except for:

Kathleen Kinmont’s boobs make this movie worthwhile. They are the type of knockers that make a grown man like Celine Dion music. I would wander aimlessly in the desert for 15 years with shoes filled with broken glass just to lick the sweat off her bikini. Wick!

All in all, the movie is worth watching if you enjoy the late night comedies and perfect boobs, or you could search Kathleen’s yam bags. I leave you with a line from the movie that sums up the the film best: