I think it is safe to say that The Apple is the best musical ever made by a director who is best known for making a movie about arm wrestling. It gives a shocking look into a future (1994) where people wear shiny clothes and stupid holographic triangles on their faces. The cars look like they belong to the Ghostbusters and everybody is a homosexual.

“Life is nothing but show business in 1994, we fight for the spotlight, and kill for…” something. I have never been able to figure out what they are killing for; the production is too bad to make out what they are saying. This is a line from, arguably, the worst song in the entire movie. It is a tough call with songs about Speed, Love (the Universal Melody), and How to be a Master. For about five minutes (it seems like an eternity) fire fighters, nuns, and fat people in a diner dance and sing along to “hey, hey, hey, Bim’s on the way.” Those are the only words repeated over and over through the entire song. Not all the songs are bad, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. You will find yourself singing along the by about the third time you watch the Apple.

The music and the dancing rock, but the best part is the story. Two young kids named Alfy and Bibi (you may recognize from Weekend at Bernie’s) from Moose Jaw, Canada face the temptations of rock stardom after a tear jerking performance at some contest that is never explained. Mr. Boogalow, head of Boogalow International music or BIM for short, wants Alfy and Bibi to join his list of BIM stars featuring Dandy and Pandy. Alfy freaks out and goes to live with the Hippies under a bridge. In the end they all pile into a glowing car and fly off in search of a world free of evil.