“Crypt of the Living Dead” is an extremely low-budgeted Spanish production that centers on the resurrection of a malicious vampire queen after being asleep on an island for nearly 7 whole centuries. Directors Julio Salvador and Ray Danton sure as hell did their best to make Hannah (quite a modern name for an ancient vampire) look like a 700-year-old! This supposedly “evil” lady walks around her territory even slower than my grandmother would walk down a flight of stairs, and she suffers from a severe hernia! On the other hand, Hannah sure has a prettier face than my grandma and I wouldn’t mind her sinking her teeth into my neck… Hannah’s resurrection is the fault of a young archaeologist who opened the tomb after his own father (accidentally?) got crushed in the tomb. Initially she’s still too weak to kill by herself and so she sends out her pet werewolf to do the nasty and bring back the blood of superstitious villagers. Once she has a little more strength, she endangers the island-population herself, and the sexy school teacher in particular. Hannah’s walking pace sort of illustrates the entire film: slow, boring and truly annoying. “Crypt of the Living Dead” isn’t at all scary or atmospheric, and this despite all the potentially great decors and locations. The events take place on an island, yet you never experience that inescapable feeling. There’s no sleaze or gore (or what did you think?), the acting performances are weak and the ending is lame.