To call “Rocketship X-M” a science fiction classic is due more to its release date (1950), its savvy ability to capitalize on the publicity for “Destination Moon”, and the appearance of actors who would later star in television as Sea Hunt’s Mike Nelson, Rockford’s dad and Wyatt Earp.
The movie itself is bad enough to be good fodder for MST3K and is best viewed with commentary from Joel and the robots. This is the type of movie best suited to added riffing from the MST3K characters; something preachy, slow-paced, poorly scripted, and full of painfully bad acting. While unintentionally funny stuff like “Plan 9 From Outer Space” don’t lend themselves to satirical commentary (because the movie constantly upstages the hosts), really bad and dull movies like “Rocketship X-M” are ideal. So add some stars to the rating if you are watching the MST3K version.
The basic story has the crew taking an unplanned right turn at the moon and ending up on Mars. What they find on that planet are the remnants of a human-like civilization devastated by an atomic war. Only one Martian is shown in close-up, a normal looking woman who is blind or at least has no pupils in her eyes. The men look like the “goons” in the old Popeye cartoons, they scamper agilely around the cliffs and throw boulders at the crew with amazing accuracy-especially if they are supposed to be blind. Of course none of this is ever explained as doing so would require some sign of logical analysis from the writers of the screenplay.
The scenes on Mars are presented in something called “Sepia Color” to distinguish them from the rest of the B&W movie. If this has you thinking “Wizard of Oz” you will be disappointed because it is just black and white stuff with a slight brown tint added to the print in post-production.
In keeping with the moronic sexism of the movie, the icy female scientist screws up her fuel calculations-both coming and going. Her failure to measure up to the men causes her feminine side to surface and she and Mike Nelson coo sweetly to each other as they face their doom (insert sound of gagging here).
The real stars of the movie are the reporters at the command center. So much so that MST3K was inspired to specially salute these unheralded heroes. The intrepid squad of “newsies” are featured for the first 10 minutes of the movie, then take stations about 12 inches behind the technicians and monitoring equipment in the command center. Later they are called upon to ask the moronic questions needed by the mission director to expound on the movie’s already too obvious message.
