If you loved the cinematic glory that was Sharknado, hold on to your tail fins. There’s a new implausible shark-related film on the tube — and this one has bikinis and snow.
Avalanche Sharks delivers just what its title promises: a shark avalanche. That’s right. Forget logic, suspense and other newfangled ideas. This filmed-in-Vancouver offering features gigantic pre-historic Snow Sharks that eat humans.
Starring Kate Nauta, Mika Brooks and Jack Cullison, Avalanche Sharks is set at the fictional Twin Pines Ski Resort during spring break. Much merrymaking and beer-drinking ensues, plus snowboarding and — naturally — a bikini competition.
But when someone inadvertently triggers an avalanche, the Snow Sharks awaken and cut a menacing swath through the powdery white stuff, their fins a telltale harbinger of death, destruction and viewers’ bemused disbelief.
As the mayhem begins, the Twin Pines management tries to cover up the situation with little success. But as the local sheriff is cut off from help by the forbidding terrain, he joins forces with a group of snowboarders to take down the Snow Sharks.
Obviously, this isn’t the kind of stuff that will be feted with pomp, circumstance and well-groomed celebrities at the Oscars or even the Golden Globes. It’s a pure guilty pleasure, the kind of movie that’s best watched while in your pyjamas and wondering how you got a tattoo of an emu on your shoulder the night before.
Sharknado set the B-movie standard last July, with its ludicrous plot twists, obvious CGI and clunky dialogue becoming fodder for many a tweet. But even its originating channel, the U.S.-based Syfy, couldn’t have expected that it would grow its audience in repeat airings.
There’s a sequel in the works, to be based in New York City and with the fan-submitted title Sharknado 2: The Second One. Original Sharknado star Ian Ziering will return in the sequel, but no word yet on whether Tara Reid will make an appearance.
“So you know there’s a story around here about a mystical creature summoned to protect the mountain,” one dude in ski gear intones in the Avalanche Sharks trailer.
“How is that even possible?” a doubtful gal retorts.
Don’t ask questions, sweetie. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
