There are some movies, be it through their natural storyline or boffo box office, that deserve a sequel. Then there are films that seem to have told a complete story, or not done enough business to make a continuation worthwhile. But in the weird world of Hollywood, you never know what makes a sequel make sense.
I think we all know that Robert Rodriguez is a talented filmmaker, but somewhere along the way, he lost his path, preferring quantity (and speed) over quality. Look, Robert, you’re a brand name now – you don’t have to make all your movies appear cheap and haphazard.
The first “Machete” was a shaggy piece of work that make decent work of Danny Trejo’s rough-hewn charm and some clever stunt casting. In addition, it actually had a semi-realistic plot and some salient points to make on the Mexican immigration debate. MACHETE KILLS (R, 1 star), on the other hand, simply exists as a wink-wink joke and a way to parade famous faces across the screen in incongruous roles.
I spent most of the film stifling yawns through Rodriguez’s “exaggerated” scenarios and half-baked special effects. I’m still happy Danny Trejo has a franchise, but at this point, I’m hoping the implosion at the box office closes this curious chapter in his unique CV.
Machete, who seems to have been promoted into full-on superhero since the last film, is pardoned by the President (Charlie Sheen) in the hopes of stopping madman Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) from launching a missile at Washington, D.C. Machete meets his new handler, “Miss San Antonio” (Amber Heard), who informs him that he must travel to Mexico to find the young woman (Vanessa Hudgens) who will lead him to Mendez.
There, we also meet Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), a brothel owner with a mean anti-man streak and an arsenal of weapons. Machete soon discovers that Mendez has a split personality, the real bad guy is ruthless businessman Luther Voz (Mel Gibson) AND there’s some sort of faceless killer going around (wearing the masks of Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga among others) taking out witnesses. Got all that? Don’t worry – it doesn’t really matter.
The B-movie, grindhouse fun of the first film is completely lost here; everyone appears to be going through the motions, including Gibson, who “acts crazy,” because, hey, that’s what we expect of him. The only person who comes out unscathed is Trejo, because, really, he’s just playing himself.
***
You’d think with all the money Vin Diesel made for Universal with the “Fast & Furious” series that they’d throw him a bone for his passion project.
But after the ambitious disaster that was “The Chronicles of Riddick,” it took quite a while for Diesel to get RIDDICK (R, 2 1/2 stars) off the ground. And while this film harbors ambitions of returning to the gritty roots of “Pitch Black,” it doesn’t quite work. Attempting to mix the mythology of the second film with the creature feature of the first leads to a muddled experience that even Diesel can’t save with his “Batman” growl.
The first 30 minutes of the film are a curious reintroduction to a character who hasn’t been on screen in years — part flashback and a near-wordless section of Riddick stranded on a desert planet, trying to figure out a way to fight off alien creatures. It’s not that this section is bad, just … strange. This isn’t the way action flicks normally start.
Things pick up a bit once we are introduced to two groups of bounty hunters both on the trail of Riddick, who has triggered a beacon alerting his presence on the planet. One is led by the unhinged Santana (Jordi Molla), the other by the secretive Johns (Matt Nable). Both want Riddick’s bounty, but Johns has another reason for going after the world’s most dangerous man, which ties WAY back to the first film – a plot point that really stretched my memory, much less the casual viewer.
Riddick disappears for large stretches of the film, leaving the bounty hunters as the primary story drivers, although only Katee Sackoff’s tough-as-nails character really makes an impact. Diesel returns for the home stretch, when everyone has to join forces to defeat the space worms that have been unearthed from the dry planet thanks to a rain storm.
I really wanted to like this movie, but in the end, it’s just another curious chapter in the Riddick saga – one that I expect to live on in video game or comic form for years to come. And when Riddick and director David Twohy get their inevitable shot at another sequel, I hope it’s a little tighter and sharper than this one.
***
It’s rare that direct-to-video films get sequels, but when you’re talking about actor Scott Adkins and director Issac Florentine — the DiCaprio and Scorsese of B-flicks — it’s easy to understand why everyone was excited about NINJA II: SHADOW OF A TEAR (R, 3 stars).
If there was justice in Hollywood, the Adkins-Florentine combo would be toplining big-budget action flicks instead of toiling away for the praise of bloggers everywhere. But this way, they get to do what they want, which in this film, means unspooling a story of vengeance with badass fights.
No, you don’t need to have seen the first film to know what’s going on. Casey (Adkins) is our hero, a martial arts expert trained in Japan by the dojo that adopted him. Here, he’s settled down into a life of domestic bliss with his pregnant wife. But after she is killed by thugs, Casey goes on a brutal mission of revenge, traveling to Thailand on the advice of his friend Nakabara (Kane Kosugi). There, Casey discovers that a brutal drug lord named Goro may have a connection, and traverses deep into the jungle to stop him.
What makes this film stand out from the sea of ineffective action flicks both big and small is the way that Florentine shoots the money scenes. You get a sense of what the combatants are doing, the weight and fury of the punches and kicks, and the clarity of place. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched fights and had no idea what’s going on due to hyper-kinetic editing, wacky camera angles and unnecessary special effects.
Adkins has grown by leaps and bounds as an actor as well. Four years ago, he was incredibly stiff, but he does so much better at selling the film’s emotional beats. His martial arts skills are unparalleled, and some of the big boys are starting to notice, given his appearance in films like “Zero Dark Thirty” and “The Expendables 2″.
If you’re an action buff, this is a must-watch. For everyone else, give it a shot – this is WAY better than your typical low-budget flick.
***
“Insidious” was a surprisingly effective haunted house thriller … until the finale, when it introduced some supernatural world called “The Further” that was populated by weird looking demons and ghosts. INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 (PG-13, 1 star) makes the awful mistake of setting most of the film in that world, which makes for an utterly ridiculous and fright-free film.
To some extent, I applaud director James Wan for continuing the story of the Lambert family without having to make some over-the-top explanation about why this stuff continues to happen to these poor people, but I just could not get into the story without thinking about how silly the whole enterprise was.
After the events of the last film, Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) remains under suspicion for the death of medium Elise (Lin Shaye), but more importantly, his wife Renai (Rose Byrne) continues to hear strange noises throughout their house. Pretty soon, it becomes clear that Josh is being possessed by Parker Crane, who was behind the mysterious murders of several people years ago.
Eventually Josh’s son Dalton must return to The Further and rescue his father, which means plenty of creepy looking ghosts, aggressive sound cues and lots of mystical mumbo-jumbo. Look, I know this kind of stuff gets people to jump in their seats, but this kind of scare tactic doesn’t work for me. (It most certainly works for others, as this film made a staggering $160 worldwide on just a $5 million budget.)
Wan is a good director, and I’m excited to see him leave the ghosts behind in favor of cars in the upcoming “Fast & Furious 7.” Let’s hope there’s no supernatural freeway in that one.
