Vampire Sisters (2004)

Vampire Sisters starts on a dark misty night, an unidentified man is running towards a large house & in pursuit are two women. The man ends up in the basement of the house & is cornered by the women, then a third woman throws some rope around him. The three women are Stacy (Jeannie Michelle Jameson) who looks about 6 feet tall, Dawn (Darla Albornoz) the young(ish), cute, normal good looking one & Tasha (Syn DeVil) whose breasts look so over inflated she might topple over at any point. Together they run a website called VampSisters.com which covers a multitude of fantasies like S & M, voyeurism or just good old fashioned sex. This guy is a customer of the site & has been invited to fulfil his own fantasy with the Sisters so what has happened so far is just his own personal kink. Before he knows it he’s upstairs handcuffed to a bed. OK this guy is obviously having fun so far but things quickly change as the Sisters kill him, drink his blood & chuck his body in their shed out back where something named Iggy (Steven ‘Proz’ Prosser) sees to the left overs… Soon after another man named Frederick Smith (Bill Debrason) who’s into pain arrives & is duly dispatched by having a meat hook whacked into his family jewels, ouch. Again the Sisters drink his blood & dispose of the body in the same way. Just so there is some sort of plot in Vampire Sisters two vice squad detectives named Sonny Renko (Mark Lassise as Mark C.Lassise) & Jennifer Hunt (Leanna Chamish) notice that the VampSisters.com website is local & that they are offering addition ‘services’ to their highest spending customers, they decide to take an interest & monitor the site. By a coincidence they discover that several customers of VampSisters.com have disappeared recently, Sonny increases his spending on the site in the hope of an invitation which eventually arrives via e-mail. Sonny & Jennifer set out to the Sisters house only to find terror & bloodshed…

Directed by Joe Ripple who also appears in the film & has an ‘additional music’ credit as well, I personally think it’s films like Vampire Sisters that’s killing the horror genre, Vampire Sisters is quite simply a real bargain basement, bottom of the barrel piece of crap excuse for a film. The script by Don Dohler who also edited, wrote, produced & photographed the thing is absolutely terrible. It’s just these three Vampire Sisters luring guys & gals back to their house putting on a bit of a sexual fantasy for them because at one point one of the Sisters claims that ‘blood tastes better if the victim is sexually aroused’, killing them & drinking their blood. Sounds good, right? Wrong, it becomes incredibly boring after the third time as it’s not particularly graphic in either a sexual or violent sense. Vampire Sisters main ambition seems to be nothing more than produce a cheap, pathetic & miserable attempt at mild titillation followed by a silly gore effect. The actual story about the two vice squad detectives investigating them is almost none existent, their given about 5 minutes worth of screen time for the first hour & are merely there to try & give the impression that something else is happening when in fact it isn’t. There is no attempt at any sort of character development. The three Vampire Sisters themselves are odd, Stacy is just so tall & in certain scenes looks like she’s a man, Tasha’s enhanced breasts are just horrible & saggy looking which leaves Dawn as the only attractive one & somewhat predictably she doesn’t take her clothes off. The gore effects are limited, mostly confined to splashing blood but there is a scene where a man has his eyes drilled out, or should that be drilled in? The special effects are awful as well, the blood looks far too runny, almost like red water. There are a couple of brief CGI shots & again they’re awful. Surprisingly there isn’t much nudity either. Technically Vampire Sisters is awful, the acting is unbelievably rotten all the way through. The photography sucks, on the making of documentary on the DVD it clearly shows that Vampire Sisters was shot on a digital camcorder & as a result it doesn’t look like a film, it was probably shot in natural light & everything looks bland, muddy & just plain boring. It also says on the documentary that Vampire Sisters was shot in the directors house, get used to it as the film almost exclusively takes place there. The direction is terrible, there’s no close ups, establishing shots or any camera ticks to break up the tedium of point shoot & hope for the best, the film fails to generate any tension or atmosphere whatsoever. Ripple obviously used the quickest set up that he could with the least number of shots he needed for the scene to work, well work in his eyes anyway. The average Mexican soap opera has better production values & looks like more effort was put into it. I could probably go on all day about how bad this film is but I don’t want to even think about it anymore, the only positive thing I can say is that some of the outfits that the girls wear look quite nice especially the fetish ones & that in a way it’s quite a good idea for a film. It’s just a shame that the finished product ended up as throughly bad as it did. Please don’t waste your money on this crap & then maybe these types of filmmakers will be forced to rethink the rubbish they make & actually start to put some effort in their films. Absolutely awful.

Author: