Alien Opponent

Alien Opponent started as an original TV movie on the cable channel Chiller, which explains its comparable quality to that of a SyFy original one. The plot is simple enough, and coyly timed with the Hunger Games release: an alien crash lands in a junkyard smack dab in white trash country, so the owner puts a bounty on its head though local public access, sending every gun-toting son of a bitch in the vicinity to come collect. Doesn’t take long for them to turn the junkyard into a battle royale.

You’ve got rednecks, marines, veterans, bounty hunters, adrenaline junkie trust-fund brats, and even a pyromaniac biker who at one point trades his Dharma Initiative logo adorned leather vest for a suit of steel armor. B-movies with perfunctory plot usually have to rely on either an inventive director that offers something new to see, or a charismatic lead that can entertain through the slog, but we’ve got neither here.

All these goons are played by a parade of unimpressive no-names (who seem to be looking for a chance to be in a campy movie more than an acting gig) and two former-names getting top billing, despite their characters being no more or less important.

Former wrestler Roddy Piper continues to chase his They Live B-movie glory days as Father Meluzzo, a shotgun-wielding priest whose swear jar must be pretty full (“Jesus does not approve of you ripping my fucking leg off!”). He’s the best the movie has to offer, but his screentime is criminally small. All too comfortable playing a scuzzy lech named Brooklyn is Jeremy London, who lives in frat house immortality as the guy in Mallrats who’s not Jason Lee, but is now recognizable as the guy from Celebrity Rehab and, well, stuff like this.

The best actor of the bunch, sadly enough, is the guy playing the eponymous alien opponent, who conveys a pretty good sense of other-worldliness despite being covered head to toe in a suit.

DVD Bonus Features

Aside from audio commentary by the whole crew, this DVD also packs the two obligatory “deleted scenes” and “outtakes” features, which seem to be included just so they can say they have extras on the DVD. Someone out there might appreciate watching takes of actors flubbing their lines and having to start over, but most people surely won’t.