Piranha 3DD is a funny, energetic and unabashedly sleazy hymn to the three classic B movie virtues: blood, beasts and breasts.
The beasts are prehistoric piranhas who’ve made their way via underground rivers to an adult-themed water park where the breasts and other body parts are at play and often on display. The blood comes from the meeting of fish and flesh.
Though the 3-D has nothing as brilliant as the 2010 remake’s underwater girl-on-girl soft porn ballet, it’s well shot, and director John Gulager maximizes its prime aesthetic value by taking every opportunity to fling those three Bs in your face.
The actors understand exactly what kind of movie they’re in, and everyone turns in an appropriately snappy performance. Even the nominal heroes – Danielle Panabaker as the plucky marine biology grad student and Matt Bush, the nerd who loves her, do not bore. Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames return from the original, and David Hasselhoff sends up Baywatch and himself with a verve that William Shatner couldn’t approach on his best day.
There isn’t much sense to any of it, and none at all to the midpoint dream sequence, but it bangs along and feeds you lots of what you spent your money for.
